If I had a dollar for every gender there was...

I'd have 2 dollars and a whole lot of counterfeits.

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I used to smoke weed and go to class...

Sneak in ten minutes late with a bullshit excuse. Slink down low at my desk. Pray to God nobody asked me any questions.

I was the best teacher ever.

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A guy shows up late for work

The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!"

He replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"

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A Year of Google Maps & Apple Maps

A Year of Google Maps & Apple Maps
It's cool to see how much Google Maps has changed over the past year. But it's also surprising to see how little Apple Maps has changed.

May 31, 2017 at 09:54PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2rEHALF

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Prison may be just one word

But to others, it's a whole sentence

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What is the difference between arguing with your girlfriend and arguing with a knife?

The knife has a point.

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What's the difference between a comma and a cat?

One is a pause at the end of a clause, the other has claws at the end of its paws.

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