Friend told me, "you're so black even your teeth are behind bars"
Thứ Sáu, 9 tháng 6, 2017
A woman was in her physician's office when she suddenly asked him to kiss her
He replies, "I can't, that would be against my code of ethics" Twenty minutes went by and the woman again pleaded for him to kiss her. Once more he refused, explaining as a doctor he simply could not. After another 15 minutes passed, the woman begged him again. "Look, I'm sorry. I just can't kiss you. In fact," he sighed, "I probably shouldn't even be fucking you."
A pirate walks into the doctors office with a steering wheel on his penis
The Doctor asks "Sir, doesn't that hurt?" and the Pirate replies "Aye, it be driving me nuts!"
MaCow
Awhile back, there was a family that lived isolated in the woods. Their only source of income was their prized milkcow - Macow.
One day, the father of the family walks out to the barn to see his prized milkcow, Macow, dead on the ground. He knows this means the end of their only source of income, and he is so distraught that he hangs himself in the barn.
Later in the day, the mother of the family goes out to the barn to see their prized milkcow, Macow, dead on the floor, and her husband hanging from the rafters. She is so distraught that she heads down the river and throws herself in, killing herself.
Later in the day, the eldest son of the family goes out to the barn and sees their prized milkcow, Macow, dead on the floor, and the father hung from the rafters. He then heads down to the river and sees his mother washed up on shore, dead. He then sees a leprechaun, a female leprechaun.
The leprechaun approaches and asks "Having a bad day?"
"Suppose so", the eldest son responds.
The leprechaun then tells him, "if you can have sex with me 5 times in a row without stopping, I'll bring your parents, and your prized milkcow, Macow, back to life."
"Why not?" says the eldest son, but only lasts twice before having to stop so the Leprechaun kills him.
Later in the day, the second eldest son of the family goes out to the barn and sees their prized milkcow, Macow, dead on the floor, and the father hung from the rafters. He then heads down to the river and sees his mother washed up on shore, and his older brother dead. He then sees a leprechaun, a female leprechaun.
The leprechaun approaches and asks "Having a bad day?"
"Suppose so", the second eldest son responds.
The leprechaun then tells him, "if you can have sex with me 5 times in a row without stopping, I'll bring your parents, your brother, and your prized milkcow, Macow, back to life."
"Why not?" says the second eldest son, but only lasts four times before having to stop so the Leprechaun kills him.
Later in the day, the youngest son of the family goes out to the barn and sees their prized milkcow, Macow, dead on the floor, and the father hung from the rafters. He then heads down to the river and sees his mother washed up on shore, and his older brothers dead. He then sees a leprechaun, a female leprechaun.
The leprechaun approaches and asks "Having a bad day?"
"Suppose so", the youngest son responds.
The leprechaun then tells him, "if you can have sex with me 5 times in a row without stopping, I'll bring your parents, your brothers, and your prized milkcow, Macow, back to life."
"Ok", replies the youngest son, "but what if I can have sex with you 10 times in a row?"
The leprechaun says, "if you can have sex with me 10 times in a row without stopping, I'll bring your parents, your brothers, and your prized milkcow, Macow, back to life. I will also give you all the gold I have"
"Ok", replies the youngest son, "but what if I can have sex with you 15 times in a row?"
The leprechaun says, "if you can have sex with me 15 times in a row without stopping, I'll bring your parents, your brothers, and your prized milkcow, Macow, back to life. I will also give you all the gold I have. On top of that, I will grant any wish you want. But if you can't have sex with me 15 times in a row I will kill you"
"Ok", the youngest son replies, "But if I have sex with you 15 times in a row, what would stop you from dying?"
"Why would I die?", asks the leprechaun.
"Well, MaCow did."
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