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Thứ Bảy, 10 tháng 6, 2017

An old Indian walks into a bank and asks for a $500 loan.

Clerk: What are you going to do with the money?

Indian: I'm going to go into the city and sell my handmade jewelry.

Clerk: Do you have a collateral?

Indian: What's a collateral?

Clerk: A collateral is something of value that can cover the amount of the loan. For example, do you have a car?

Indian: Yes, I have a 1949 Ford truck

Clerk: That won't do. Do you have livestock?

Indian: Yes, I have a horse

Clerk: How old is it?

Indian: I don't know, it doesn't have teeth.

After some negotiations, the Indian and the clerk settle on a collateral. The clerk does all the paperwork and gives the Indian $500.

A few weeks later, the Indian returns to the bank, walks up to the same clerk, takes out a huge wad of bills and returns the loan.

Clerk: I see your jewelry sold well. What are you going to do with the rest of the money?

Indian: I will keep it in my wigwam.

Clerk: No need to do that. You can make a deposit in our bank.

Indian: What's a deposit?

Clerk: A deposit is when you give money to the bank, the bank cares for it, and when it's time, you can come back to the bank and take your money.

Indian: And what does the bank have as a collateral?

Wife: Stop pretending your life is a youtube video!! It's ruining our marriage!

Me: Do you guys think it's ruining our marriage? Let me know in the comments below!

When do you have the right to kick a midget in the balls?

When he says your girlfriend's hair smells nice.

Theory vs. Reality

A son asks his father what the difference between theory and reality is.

The father says go ask your mother if she would sleep with the neighbor for 1 million dollars, then go ask your sister the same question and tell me what they say.

The son returns and says, "they both said they would do it!"

The father replies, "ok son, in theory we are sitting on 2 million dollars, in reality we live with a couple of sluts."

A tall guy walks into a bar

that's what he gets for being tall

Why are the twin towers and genders so similar?

Because there use to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.

I like my men just how I like my women

That's it, I'm bisexual.