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Thứ Bảy, 17 tháng 6, 2017

A Muslim dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates...

He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed. 

Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard. 

"Are you Mohammed?" he asks. 

"No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up." And he points to a ladder that rises into the clouds. 

Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, he climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds, coming to a room where he meets another bearded man. 

He asks again, "Are you Mohammed?" 

"No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still." 

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard. 

Full of hope, he asks again, "Are you Mohammed?" 

"No, I am Jesus... You will find Mohammed higher up." 

Mohammed higher than Jesus!

The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher. 

Once again he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question: 

"Are you Mohammed?" he gasps as he is, by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing.

"No my son.....I am God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a coffee?" 

"Yes, please!" said the man.

God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out:

"Hey Mohammed, two coffees!"

Crazy Jack walks into the pharmacy

and says to the pharmacist, “Look, I’ve got three girls coming over tonight. I’ve never had three girls at once, so what have you got to keep me horny all night?”

The pharmacist reaches down, unlocks a bottom drawer and brings up a box labeled “Viagra Triple Strength” containing single wrapped packets. He says, “Take one of these and you’ll go crazy for 12 hours.”

Crazy Jack replies, “Hell, give me three.”

The next day Jack slowly walks into the same pharmacy. The pharmacist smiles and asks, “Well, how did it go?”

In answer, Crazy Jack pulls down his pants.

His penis is black and blue and blistered- one of the sorriest sights the pharmacist had ever seen.

Crazy Jack says, “Give me a tube of Icy Hot.”

The pharmacist replies in horror, “You’re not going to put Icy Hot on that, are you?”

Crazy Jack replies, “Hell, no, it’s for my arms. The girls didn’t show up.”

An Irish priest is driving along a country road when a police man pulls him over.

He immediately smells alcohol on the priest's breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car.

He says: "Have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The cop replies: "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says: "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

Life is like a penis.

It's all relaxed freely hanging, and then a woman comes and makes it hard.

What did the boy with no arms get for his Birthday ?

Don't know he hasn't opened it yet

What If (Almost) Every Gene Affects (Almost) Everything?


What If (Almost) Every Gene Affects (Almost) Everything?
Three Stanford scientists have proposed a provocative new way of thinking about genetic variants, and how they affect people’s bodies and health.

June 16, 2017 at 10:00PM
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Why do chicken coops only have 2 doors?

Because If they had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.