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Chủ Nhật, 2 tháng 7, 2017

A blonde walks into an appliance store.

She asks the clerk " Hi, how much is that pink Television?" the clerk replies "Sorry, but we don't sell to blondes". She screams discrimination but eventually accepts defeat and walks out.She dyes her hair black, wears sunglasses and goes back the next day, "What's the price for that pink Television?" she asks the clerk but he recognises her and again tells her that they don't serve blondes, defeated she leaves the store. She goes back next day wearing a Hijab and in her best Arabian accent says " Excuse me but how much for that pink television?" the clerk again says that its store policy to not sell to blondes. Frustrated, the blonde asks " How do you know Im a blonde? You cant even see my hair", the clerk looks at her and says " Because madam, that is an oven"

The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve time travellers here."

Two time travellers walk into a bar.

In Jamaica

In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15. In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95. In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75. Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean

Fyre Festival Founder McFarland Arrested On Fraud Charge


Fyre Festival Founder McFarland Arrested On Fraud Charge
Fyre Festival founder Billy McFarland, organizer of a disastrous music festival in the Bahamas, was arrested on federal charges that he defrauded investors who bought a stake in his media company.

July 2, 2017 at 01:30AM
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Where do suicide bombers go after they die?

Everywhere.

I ordered 2000 lbs. of chinese soup.

It was Won Ton.

A man's wife accuses him of "testiculating."

"What the hell is 'testiculating?'" the man asks.

Looking both irritated and impatient, his wife responds, "It's when a man is talking bollocks!"

The man considers this for a moment. "Tell me something," he finally says. "Are you on your period?"

"Yes," his wife answers. "Why?"

The man nods. "I thought so. You're ovaryacting."