What do you call a singing laptop?

A dell.

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Two blondes get stuck in elevator

One of them starts yelling: HELP, HEEEELP

The other one then suggests: Maybe we should start yelling together

The first blonde starts yelling again: TOGETHER, TOGETHEEEEER

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Obama smoked weed growing up, and now look where he is today

Unemployed with two kids and recently evicted

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I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics...

But graphing is where I draw the line!

Actually, graphing is fine, but calculus is my limit.

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A wise Asian man once said....

If a dog is barking, you know it's undercooked

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Why are Catholic priests called "Father"?

Because "Daddy" would be a bit too suspicous.

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Why is the army so strict about their uniforms?

To minimize casual tees...

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