FREE, you racist piece of shit...
Thứ Bảy, 8 tháng 7, 2017
Haven't seen this one here yet
How to install a southern home security system
- Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 15 men's work boots, and place them on your porch with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine.
- Place four of the biggest dog bowls you can find on the porch next to the boots and magazines.
- Leave a note on the door that reads:
Bubba,
Me, Jimbo and Buck went to get more beer and ammo. Be back in a bit. Don't mess with the pitbulls, they got the mailman real bad yesterday. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, locked 'em all in the house, so you better wait outside. Be right back.
-Cooter
A priest hooks a huge fish
Helping him reel it in, a sailor says "Whoa, look at the size of that fucker!".
"Hey, mind your language!" says the priest.
Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out, "Sorry father, but that's what this fish is called, it's a Fucker fish".
Accepting the explanation, the priest forgives the sailor and takes the fish back to church.
"Look at this huge fucker" says the priest, spotting the bishop.
"Language, please! this is God's house," replies the bishop.
"No, no that's what this fish is called, "says the priest.
"Oh," says the bishop, scratching his chin "I could clean that fucker and we could have it for dinner".
So the bishop takes the fish, cleans it, and brings it to the mother superior.
"Could you cook this fucker for dinner tonight?" he asks her.
"My, what language!" she exclaims, clearly shocked.
"No, sister that's what the fish is called - a fucker", says the bishop.
Satisfied with the explanation, the mother superior says, "Wonderful, I'll cook that fucker tonight, The Pope is coming for dinner!"
The fish tastes just great and The Pope asks where they got it.
"Well, I caught the fucker!" says the priest.
"And I cleaned the fucker!" says the bishop.
"And I cooked the fucker!" says the mother superior.
The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely glaze, leans back on his chair, takes off his cap, puts his feet up on the table, pours himself a whiskey and says:" You know what?, You cunts are alright."
Kid 1: "Hey I bet you're still a virgin "
Kid 2: "Yeah I was a virgin until last night"
Kid 1: "As if"
Kid 2: "Yeah just ask your sister"
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister"
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months"
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)