"Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"
Thứ Hai, 10 tháng 7, 2017
A man in a suit is walking down the street when a criminal jumps out of an alley and points a gun at him.
"Give me your money!" The robber says
"You can't do this I'm a US politician!" Says the man in a suit.
The robber pauses and then says: "in that case, give me MY money!"
[NSFW] An Italian woman, a USA woman and an Irish woman are talking about sex
Italian Woman: I just found a way to have fantastic sex with my husband: after he comes back home and takes a shower, i throw away his towel, grab his balls by my hand and i tell him "Mario, your balls are so hot!"
USA Woman: And so what? Does it work?
Italian Woman: If it works? My husband gets so horny and excited when i tell him that, he fucks me so hard and so good for like ten times in a row! I'm just so happy!
The USA woman seems very interested in it, and says she'll do that.
The next day the three women meet again.
USA Woman: You won't believe it but your method actually worked wonders! My husband came back home from work and got a shower. Then i grabbed his balls by my hands and told him "John, you balls are so hot!". He went totally mad and banged me ten times in a row!
At this point the Irish woman is convinced and decides to try that herself.
The next day the three women meet again. They find the Irish woman in a terrible state. She has two missing teeth, a broken arm, she was just all bruised and battered.
Her two friends asked her what happened.
Irish Woman: I did just what you said. My husband came back home from work, he grabbed his beer and took a shower. Then i grabbed his balls by my hand, but them were cold. So i told him: "Sean, why your balls are not as hot as Mario's and John's?"
I walked into a bar and saw this girl wearing a Falcons jersey.
I walked up and introduced myself as, "25 point lead".
"Is that your real name?", she asked.
I said, "No, but I figured anyone wearing a Falcons jersey would blow a 25 point lead."
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