Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book

Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamps.

Read More

How do you talk to a dead Italian?

with a luigi board

Read More

I asked my boss "what's the difference between your wife and tomorrow?"

"I'm not coming in tomorrow"

Haven't seen this one here so if it's been posted before I'm sorry

Read More

My girlfriend is like the square root of -100

A perfect ten... but completely imaginary.

Read More

Do you work on weekends?

My boss just asked, "Do you think you can come in on Saturday this week? I know you enjoy your weekends, but I need you here."

I replied, "Yeah, no problem. I'll probably be late though as the public transport is bad on weekends."

He said, "Okay, when do you think you'll get here then?"

I said, "Monday."

Read More

My very conservative coworker told me about the first time he had sex...

[to view this body of this joke, please upgrade to the Tier II telecom package]

...and I'll never think of jesus the same way again.

Read More

Looking at my ceiling and ya know, I'm not saying it's the greatest ceiling in the world...

But it's up there.

Read More