I drove my car into a river and watched it turn into a mobile phone.

One minute, a Kia. Next minute, Nokia.

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A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball." Man - "That's nice." Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man - "No, thanks." Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK, how much?" Boy - "$150" Man - "Sold."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here." Man - "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove." The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,"How much?" Boy - "$350" Man - "Highway robbery. Sold."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your gloves, let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The boy says, "$500" The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth with the Priest to confess his sins and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that crap again, you're in my closet now."

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I'm opening a new gay club called "Garage Sale"

Because one mans junk is another mans treasure!

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I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants.

But he's not buying it, in fact he's still making fun of me.

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I'm always frank with my sexual partners.

I wouldn't want them to know my real name.

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Harvard just moved to end frats, sororities, and final clubs entirely

Harvard just moved to end frats, sororities, and final clubs entirely
The argument: exclusive student groups breed elitism, sexism, alcohol abuse and other problems by their very nature.

July 13, 2017 at 08:02PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2vfV6D1

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Society is full of double standards

For example, when Ariel from The Little Mermaid swims around half naked, singing with her underwater friends, people say that she is "sweet" and "beautiful"

But when I do it, people say that I'm "drunk" and "no longer welcome at the aquarium".

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