I'll let you know.
Thứ Bảy, 15 tháng 7, 2017
A mathematician wanders back home at 3 am
He proceeds to get an earful from his wife.
"You're late"! She yells
"You said you'd be home by 11:45"!
"Actually", the mathematician responds,
"I said i'd be home by a quarter of 12".
Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton walk into a bakery.
As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald, "See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie.” The Donald says to Hillary, "That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."
Trump goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."
Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. Trump swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then Trump asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?"
Trump replies, "Look in Hillary's pocket"
Two priests are out driving one day, when they get pulled over by a police officer.
The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver "Sorry to pull you over father, but we're looking for a couple of child molesters" The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says; "Alright officer, we'll do it"
Two Students from Asia Came to My High School...
They were twins, a guy, Ving, and a girl, Ling. Ving is in my math class, and the dude's like a math wiz. I'm really struggling, so I ask Ving if he'd give me a hand on the homework. Ving says yeah, he just wants me to do him a favor. I'm like yeah sure what. He asks me to drive him to the city hall after school. He says he wants to change his name to something more American.
I'm like cool cool, so after school I'm driving Ling and Ving to the city hall, and Ling is totally giving Ving the cold shoulder. I'm like what's the deal and Ving explains that his name has been passed down for generations, and Ling is totally pissed that he'd disrespect his ancestry by changing it.
So then we get to the city hall and wait in line for a super long time. Finally it's our turn and Ving tells me he's picked "Lee" as his American name. He steps up to the desk and starts filling out some paperwork, and the whole time Ling is scolding him about the ancestry shit, blah blah.
Then it's time for Ving to sign his name and seal the deal, but suddenly his eyes well up with tears and he says that he can't do it. Shittttt man, that ancestry shit runs deeeep. The lady at the desk is like ok, but Ving has to pay a small fee to cancel his request. Argh, stupid small town laws. Ling groans as she opens up her purse and starts sifting around for cash.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, some Asian guy bursts through the town hall doors.
"DAD!" Ling and Ving exclaim. He looked at them and cried,
"Don't stop! Be Lee, Ving. Hold on to that fee, Ling!"
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