Pregnant Wife

Guy: Doctor, My wife is pregnant but we always used double protection. Then, how is it possible?

Doctor: Let me tell you a story to make you realize how it is possible.

"There was a Hunter who always carried a Gun wherever he went. One day, he took his umbrella instead of his gun and went out.

A Lion suddenly jumped in front of him. In order to scare the Lion, the hunter used the Umbrella like a gun and shot the Lion, the Lion collapsed & died.

Guy:That is totally nonsense. Someone else must have shot the Lion!

Doctor: Good! Next patient please...

Edit: a word

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Millions Of Dollars' Worth Of Apollo Moon-Landing Gear Is About To Be Sold On eBay

Millions Of Dollars' Worth Of Apollo Moon-Landing Gear Is About To Be Sold On eBay
In the market for a helium tank from an Apollo-era spacecraft? How about a bag to collect lunar soil samples? Or an authentic training checklist for launching to the moon?

July 16, 2017 at 12:14AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2uuUu00

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Trump always wanted to be screwed by one of his kids

He just didn't expect it to be this one

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What do you call an emo a capella group?

Self Harmony

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"So is that a gun in your trousers or are you just happy to see me?"

"Both ,now get in the van"

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An old woman wants to get married one last time so she doesn't die alone.

She takes out an ad in the paper that says, "I'm looking for a husband. You must not hit me, you must not walk out on me, and you must be good in bed. If you're interested, come by my house tomorrow so I can get to know you."

The next day, several men show up at her house, but none of them quite seem right for her. The old woman is just about to give up hope when her doorbell rings one last time. She opens the door to see an old man in a wheelchair with no arms or legs. The old woman feels bad for the man so she wheels him inside.

"Thank you for stopping by," she tells him. "But I don't know if you're exactly what I'm looking for."

"Well," the old man replies, "I have no arms so I can't hit you, and I have no legs so I can't walk out on you."

The old woman finds herself actually considering the man and asks "Ok, but what about the last thing? Are you any good in bed?"

And the old man smiles and says, "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"

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C and C++ walk into a bar...

After a few hours, C gets sloppy drunk and spills its drink all over C++. Outraged, C++ shouts, "good God C! Have you no class??"

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