"Fake Noose!"
Thứ Hai, 17 tháng 7, 2017
A father whale and his son are swimming when the son whale asks his father
"where did I come from." The father whale replies "from my penis son." The son rolls his eyes and says "thanks dad" to which the father whale replies "you're whale cum son, you're whale cum."
A man is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington DC.
The traffic is stopped for miles ahead.
Another man walks up next to him and says, "Sir, terrorists have kidnapped every member of congress. If they don't get $100,000,000 in ransom, they will to cover them in gasoline and burn them. I'm here to collect donations."
The man asks, "how much do most people donate?"
"About a gallon."
Sex Joke (Long)
A guy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what guys and girls do on back roads some distance from town. As things really started getting hot, the girl stopped the guy and said, “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.” The guy reluctantly paid her, and they went on with their business. After they finished, the guy lit up a cigarette, sat back in the driver’s seat and stared out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25.”
A white man was so in love with his girlfriend...
He decided to get her name, Wendy, tattooed on his penis. When erect, you could easily read "WENDY," but when flaccid, you could only see "WY."
One day he was taking a leak at a urinal next to a Jamaican man, when he happened to glance down and see "WY" tattooed on the Jamaican's penis.
Surprised, the white man asks the Jamaican, "Hey, is your girlfriend's name Wendy too?"
The Jamaican stared back at him with a look of confusion.
So then the white man showed him his penis and said, "See? 'WY'. When I'm hard it says 'WENDY!'"
To which the Jamaican says, "Ohh! No no, mon! Mine says 'WELCOME TO JAMAICA HAVE A NICE DAY!'"
Three cowboys sitting around a campfire
Two are arguing who is tougher.
"Last week I rode a 2000lb bull it bucked me off so I punched it one time and it turned into steaks" said the first. "That's nothing, last time I had sex I used a live rattler for a condom" boasted the second.
The third said nothing, and continued quietly stirring the embers in the fire with his penis.
‘We’re Headed Toward One of the Greatest Divisions in the History of the Jewish People’
‘We’re Headed Toward One of the Greatest Divisions in the History of the Jewish People’
A small, vocal group of Conservative rabbis is pushing the movement to accept marriages between Jews and non-Jews. The fight is really about the future of the religion.
July 17, 2017 at 02:05AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2tv1kxs
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