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Thứ Tư, 2 tháng 8, 2017

Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor...

They decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery. As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn't bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag. Few minutes later, a drunkard on his way from a bar, passed near the cemetery gate & heard a voice saying:

"One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you."

He immediately sobered up & ran as fast as he could to a church nearby, for the priest

"Father, please come with me . Come & witness God & Satan sharing corpses at the cemetery"

They both ran back to the cemetery gate & the voice continued:

"One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you."

Suddenly, the voice stopped counting & said:

"What about the two at the gate?"

I sleep better naked...

...why cant the flight attendant understand that?

Four CEOs of beer companies are having a meeting and they decide to get a drink.

The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud light. The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Lite. The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light. The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke.

The three CEOS then ask him, why aren't you ordering a Guinness?

He replies: "If you guys aren't drinking beer than neither will I."

If someone broke into my house and stole all the lights...

I'd be absolutely delighted

Why don't they put advertisements on the Hulk?

He's basically a giant banner.

Thứ Ba, 1 tháng 8, 2017

My wife complained to me that I don't take an interest in her family.

Now she is upset because I fucked her sister. I can't win.

A man sits next a woman on the bus.

He says "That's a very nice smelling perfume. What brand is it? I'd like to buy it for my wife".

She replies "Don't, it will just give idiots an excuse to talk to her".