Turner Brown Long NSFW

Skinny little white Irishman gets into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him. He looks down at the Irishman and says: "7 ft tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown"

The little white Irishman faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.....The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you just say to me?"

The big dude says, "Well, I saw your curious look and I figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me................ I'm 7 ft tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each....and my name is Turner Brown"

The little white Irishman says:

"Turner Brown?!....Sweet Jesus.........I thought you said,"Turn around!"

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I'm sorry and I apologize normally mean the same thing

Except at a funeral.

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Dollar for a dirty joke

I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said "1 dollar for dirty joke." Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.

Homeless man: "Alright sir whats your name?"

Me: "John"

Homeless man: "So Johnny, there is black rooster alright? How many legs does that chicken have."

Me: "Two?"

Homeless man: "Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?"

Me: "Two?"

Homeless man: "Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?"

Me: "Two?"

Homeless man: "Right again, now there is this white cat walking around how many hairs are on that white cat?"

Me: "I don't know? A lot?"

Homeless man: "Well Johnny, why do you know so much about black cock and not enough about white pussy."

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Did you know diarrhea is hereditary!?

It runs in your jeans!

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If I had a dollar for every time I was called racist

The minorities would just come steal it all anyway

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A young man with his pants hanging half off his ass, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check....

He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just H A T E drawing welfare! I'd really rather have a job.. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing!"

The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We Just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2012 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes."

"Because of The long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say,but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well... You started it." .....

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How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating?

She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

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