Don't you hate it when you're driving along smoking a cigarette, you flick it out the window and you drive for a couple more miles and smell something funny and you look over onto the back seat and sure enough..

Grandma's fingering herself again

Read More

What's the process of applying for a job at Hooters?

They just give you a bra and say "Here, fill this out."

Read More

I told my wife I was so stressed that only a blowjob would help.

She asked me where I was going to find a dick to suck at this time of night.

Read More

Donald Trump goes to a fortune teller and asks "When am I going to die?"

The fortune teller replies: "you will die on a major Mexican holiday."

Trump asks: "Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?"

The fortune teller replies: "ANY day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!"

Read More

Cardiologist and the Mechanic

A cardiologist's car breaks down and he goes to a mechanic to get it fixed. After everything is done, the mechanic asks the cardiologist,

"Here's what I don't understand. I fix engines, and so do you, albeit human ones, so why do you get paid ten times more than I do?"

The cardiologist then turns the ignition on and says, "try it with the engine running."

Read More

What do hamsters and cigarettes have in common?

They’re both perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire

Read More

Why did HD TV jump from 2K straight to 4k?

Because 3k was considered too racist.

Read More