But racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.
Thứ Sáu, 4 tháng 8, 2017
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American
She shares the joys of being a part of the greatest country in the world, and asks her students to raise their hands if they are or want to be American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I am not an American." says Kristen
"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.
"Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too." The teacher is now angry.
"That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be an American."
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes.
So one evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke.
She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals."
One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?"
"N," she answered, proudly.
A man dies and ends up in Hell.
A man dies and ends up in hell, Satan shows up and walks him down a hallway, explaining that he would choose his torment from a selection of doors.
The first door opens up onto a vast expanse and millions of people standing on their heads on concrete. This doesn't have much appeal so the man moves to the next door. There he finds a similar scene but everyone is on their heads on rough hewn wooden floors. The man moved on as that looked worse. The third door revealed a vast chasm with far fewer people, all of whom are knee deep in shit drinking coffee. The man thinks to himself that he could get used to the smell and hey, free coffee, so he chooses that door.
He gets settled in with his cup and his personal plot of shit and starts to relax a bit, when suddenly an inhuman voice booms through the area; "Alright everyone, breaks over, back on your heads!
The Weirdest Excerpts From The Transcripts Of Trump's Calls With The Australian PM And Mexican President
The Weirdest Excerpts From The Transcripts Of Trump's Calls With The Australian PM And Mexican President
The Washington Post got its hands on a pair of transcripts of January calls made by President Trump to the President of Mexico and to the Prime Minister of Australia. Here are the most interesting snippets.
August 3, 2017 at 10:34PM
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