What kind of music do wind turbines like?

They're huge metal fans

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Horrible joke

So a guy is in a bar when the woman across from him sneezes and her glass eye flies out. The man catches it and hands it back to the woman. The woman says "thanks" and then offers to buy him a drink.

The woman then offers to drive him home. On the way to his house, the man asks "Are you always this nice to men that you meet?" and she says "No, you just happened to catch my eye"

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Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

The retail store.

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Is she a virgin?

Paddy was planning to get Married and asked his Doctor how he could tell if his Bride is a Virgin. The Doctor said, “Well, you need Three things from a Do-It-Yourself Shop. A Can of Red Paint, a Can of Blue Paint… and a Shovel. Paddy asked, “And what do I do with these, Doc?" The Doctor replied, “Before the Wedding Night, you Paint one of your Testicles Red and the other Testicle Blue. Then if she says, 'That’s the strangest Pair of Balls I've ever seen', you hit her with the Shovel"..

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My girlfriend and I almost didn't have the second date because on the first date I didn't open the car door for her

I just swam to the surface.

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What do vaginas and the mafia have in common?

One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.

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Every cook has a secret

The Admiral was visiting one of his ships. When having tea he noticed that every biscuit has the ship's insignia embossed on it.

He is impressed and calls the cook to ask him how he does this.

Cook: When rolling the biscuits I slap each one onto my belt buckle before putting them in the oven.

Admiral: That’s pretty unhygienic.

Cook: In that case sir, I’d suggest you skip the doughnuts.

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