Trump and Obama meets during inauguration.

Trump asks: Barack, your approval ratings are pretty high. I love ratings bigly. Can you give me some tips?

Obama: The key is having a strong administration. I make sure that my administration not only works hard but is also composed of smart people.

Trump: What do you mean?

Obama summons Biden.

Obama (to Biden): Joe, I have a question for you. Who is a son or daughter of your parents but not your sibling?

Biden: It is me Barack!

Obama to Trump: See, that is how we roll...

After inauguration Trump decides to test this on Pence.

Trump: Mike, I have a question for you. Who is a son or daughter of your parents but not your sibling?

Pence takes half an hour but can't figure out the answer. Eventually, he decides to cheat and asks chief strategist Steve Bannon. After some brainstrom Bannon says "It is me!".

Pence rushes to Trump: It is Steve sir!

Trump furious: What are you talking about loser? It is Joe Biden. You are fired!

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A soldier ran up to a nun

A soldier ran up to a nun, Out of breath he asked: "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."

The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police officer ran up and asked: "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"

The nun replied: "He went that way."

After the Military Police officers ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said: "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to war to Iraq."

The nun said: "I understand completely."

The soldier added: "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"

The nun replied: "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls... I don't want to go to Iraq either!

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A Googler's Would-Be Manifesto Reveals Tech's Rotten Core

A Googler's Would-Be Manifesto Reveals Tech's Rotten Core
Office culture is only part of the problem.

August 7, 2017 at 04:21AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2fkvthI

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A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London..

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips." The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."

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My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline for his birthday..

..And all he wanted to do was sit in his wheelchair and cry.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre

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Growing up, my dad said we should treat him like a god...

...so we pretty much ignored him until we were sick, hurt, or broke.

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