Now I'm forever placed on some kind of watch list.
Thứ Ba, 8 tháng 8, 2017
My girlfriend just sent me a Facebook message saying:
My girlfriend just sent me a Facebook message saying:
“helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalternative”
Does anybody know what ‘ternative’ means?
Three Generals are arguing about which branch of the service has the bravest members...
Army General says "watch this" and calls a dog soldier over and tells him to climb a nearby flag pole and sing the caissons go rolling along. The soldier salutes smartly and promptly complies, and the General is smug while remarking "now THAT'S bravery".
Navy Admiral calls a squid over and says "watch this" to his fellow General Officers..."Seaman, climb that flagpole and when you get to the top sing Anchors Aweigh" says the Admiral. "AND, at the end of this blessed song...jump off!" The Sea Dog salutes smartly and does as asked and the Admiral looks smug while remarking "now THAT'S bravery!".
The Marine Corps General calls a Devil Dog over and repeats the instructions from the other General Officers with the exception that the Marine Corps General goes a step further and requires that the Devil Dog does a beautiful 1/2 twisting full gainer off of the top of the flag pole at the end of singing the Marine Corps Hymn. The Devil Dog looks incredulous at the General and says "Fuck You Sir!".
Now THAT'S bravery says the General, smiling.
A woman was in her physician's office when she suddenly asked him to kiss her
He replies, "I can't, that would be against my code of ethics" Twenty minutes went by and the woman again pleaded for him to kiss her. Once more he refused, explaining as a doctor he simply could not. After another 15 minutes passed, the woman begged him again. "Look, I'm sorry. I just can't kiss you. In fact," he sighed, "I probably shouldn't even be fucking you."
Thứ Hai, 7 tháng 8, 2017
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