After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kind of strange.

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kind of strange. So she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: "Honey, I have something very serious to tell you."

Husband: "What’s up?"

Wife: "According to the DNA test results, this is not our kid."

Husband: "Well you don’t remember, do you?? When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had pooped. You said: Please go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here."

"So I went inside, left the dirty one there and got a clean one."

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What do you call a rich asian?

Cha Ching

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I have a Polish friend who's a sound technician.

Oh, and a Czech one too. Czech one too. Czech one too.

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My wife was in the height of labour. Screaming in agony as I mopped her brow. She turned to me and grabbed my hand. Her face scrunched up and staring deep into my eyes, she let out a hiss and shouted, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!!"

I smiled and calmly replied, "Well if you remember rightly, I wanted to do you up the arse but you said it'd be too painful"

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They found a cat on mars...

A live cat was found roaming the surface of Mars. Scientists planned to have the Mars Rover capture the animal to study it but unfortunately while attempting to capture the feline, Curiosity killed the cat.

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This Optical Illusion Is Breaking Our Brains

This Optical Illusion Is Breaking Our Brains
The Café Wall illusion has been around for a while, but this new version takes the effect to new heights

August 8, 2017 at 11:20PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2hH4FJ8

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The other day I told a girl, "You look great without glasses."

Girl: "I don't wear glasses."

Me, while polishing my lenses: "No, but I do."

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