Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Sáu, 18 tháng 8, 2017

I was devastated when I got a text from my wife telling me I was crap in bed.

It’s ok though, turns out she got the wrong number....

At a carnival, a strongman cuts a lemon in half.

He then takes one half and squeezes it as hard as he can. He turns to the crowd and says: "A hundred dollars for any man or woman who can squeeze a single drop of juice into this glass!" Several men confidently walk up to the stage, but none of them manage to complete the challenge, despite their big muscles. Eventually, a tiny, frail looking gentleman walks up to the stage. The strongman laughs, but gives him a go. To everyone's surprise, the man squeezes the lemon and almost fills the entire glass. Stunned, the strongman asks the obvious winner...

What is the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

The savings bond will eventually mature and earn money....

I love eating babies and smiling

but I hate punctuation...

What do you call a pizza joint run by epileptic midgets?

Little Seizure's...

As I get older and I remember all the people I've lost along the way

I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me...

What joke has the slowest build-up to the shittiest punchline?

Life...