Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Chủ Nhật, 20 tháng 8, 2017

I couldn't join the KKK if I wanted to, my bloodline isn't pure enough.

Turns out my parents weren't even related....

This was actually said in court and taken from a transcript

Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed autopsy, did you check for pulse?” Witness: “No” Lawyer: “did you check for blood pressure?” Witness: “No” Lawyer: “did you check for breathing?” Witness: “No” Lawyer: “ so, then it is possible for the patient to be alive when you began the autopsy?” Doctor: “no” Lawyer: “how can you be so sure doctor ?” Doctor: “because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar” Lawyer: “but the patient could have been alive nevertheless?” Witness: “yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law som...

When I was younger I would fuck anything that moved

Now that I'm older, I don't like to place those kinds of limitations...

A guy walks into a bar and orders 3 beers.

The bartender pours them for him. He then takes equal sips from each beer and proceeds to do so until all glasses are empty. He pays and leaves. He does this every day for a week before the bartender decides to ask what that's all about. "Why do you come in and order three beers, and then take equal sips from them until they are empty?" Asks the bartender. The guy replies "well, I've got three brothers. We used to meet up every evening for a beer, but they had to move out of town. So we've decided that each of us will drink three beers every day,...

Many people are shocked when they find out..

That I’m a horrible electrician....

Heard about the Robert E Lee statue at Duke University campus?

[removed]...

I told my doctor that I broke my arms in two places.

He told me to stop going to those places....