Turns out my parents weren't even related.
Chủ Nhật, 20 tháng 8, 2017
This was actually said in court and taken from a transcript
Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed autopsy, did you check for pulse?”
Witness: “No”
Lawyer: “did you check for blood pressure?”
Witness: “No”
Lawyer: “did you check for breathing?”
Witness: “No”
Lawyer: “ so, then it is possible for the patient to be alive when you began the autopsy?”
Doctor: “no”
Lawyer: “how can you be so sure doctor ?”
Doctor: “because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar”
Lawyer: “but the patient could have been alive nevertheless?”
Witness: “yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere”
A guy walks into a bar and orders 3 beers.
The bartender pours them for him. He then takes equal sips from each beer and proceeds to do so until all glasses are empty. He pays and leaves. He does this every day for a week before the bartender decides to ask what that's all about.
"Why do you come in and order three beers, and then take equal sips from them until they are empty?" Asks the bartender. The guy replies "well, I've got three brothers. We used to meet up every evening for a beer, but they had to move out of town. So we've decided that each of us will drink three beers every day, one for each of us."
The bartenders curiosity is sated. The guy continues to do this for about a month, until he comes in one day and orders only two beers.
"I'm sorry for your loss", says the bartender.
The guy is confused, and then says "oh no, nobody died. I just quit drinking."
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