FunnyStory about animals and all around the world
Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)
Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)
Play game and comfortable :)
Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
While the barman is pouring, the man extends his hand at knee height and asks: “Do penguins grow this big?”
“I should think so,” the barman replies.
The man raises his hand. “How about this big?”
“Well, perhaps a king penguin, but I’m not sure . . .”
The man holds his hand at shoulder level: “This big?”
“Not a cat in hell’s chance.”
The man knocks back his drink in one. “Hell. I just ran over a nun.”
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards." He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..." Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.
Lady 1: "What's that?"
Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."
Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"
Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."
The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel."
...but, she had a boyfriend
One day he got so desperate he went up to her and said,
"I'll pay you 100$ if you have sex with me."
The girl looked at him shocked and said,
"Hell, no!'
He said,
"It'll be real quick, I'll throw the money on the ground, you'll bend over to pick it up, I'll be done by the time you pick it up!"
She told him she'd have to ask her boyfriend.
So, she called him and explained the situation.
He said,
"Just pick it up really fast, he won't even be able to take his pants down."
She agreed with this plan and hung up
30 minutes go by and the boyfriend is still waiting for her call.
Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend called and said,
"What the fuck happened?"
Breathing hard, she replied,
"That bastard had all QUARTERS!"
I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.