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Chủ Nhật, 3 tháng 9, 2017

My neighbors listen to really good music

Whether they like it or not.

Two men are walking their dogs (a doberman and a chihuahua) when they see a restaurant.

They're pretty hungry, do they decide to head in for a bite to eat. Unfortunately, they see a sign out front that says "NO DOGS ALLOWED".

The man with the doberman says "I know what to do, just follow my lead." He throws on a pair of sunglasses and walks in.

The waiter tells him "I'm sorry sir, we don't allow dogs here." The man says "Oh, you don't understand. I'm blind and this is my guide dog."

"A doberman for a guide dog?" The waiter asks, skeptical.

"Yes." The man replies. "Dobermans are very loyal. They're easy to train and protective too. They're born for the job."

The waiter sighs and leads the man to a table.

The second man, excited by this idea, throws on his sunglasses and walks in.

The waiter tells him "I'm sorry sir, we don't allow dogs here." The man says "Oh, you don't understand. I'm blind and this is my guide dog."

"A chihuahua for a guide dog?" The waiter asks.

"A chihuahua?" The man asks. "They gave me a chihuahua?!"

Woman Pulls Gun At Walmart During Fight Over School Supplies


Woman Pulls Gun At Walmart During Fight Over School Supplies
It's reported that a fight broke out between several women over one notebook.

September 2, 2017 at 11:53PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2xGa8E0

Elderly man stopped by police.

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, “I am on my way to attend a lecture about gambling, hookers, alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking, and staying out late.”

The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?”

The man replies, “My wife.”

If someone calls you a nobody, just remember

Nobody's perfect.

Your dog loves you more than your wife does.

Want proof? Lock them both in the trunk of your car. Let them out an hour later and see which one is happy to see you.

I told my friend people keep accidentally asking me to buy meat for them.

He asked: "By mistake?"

I said: "Oh come on, not you too!"