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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Năm, 7 tháng 9, 2017

An American man walks into an Irish bar and proposes a challenge.

An American man walks into an Irish bar and proposes a challenge.

"I hear you Irish men are great for the drink, but I want some proof" and proceeds to put $200 on the bar.

"If any of ye can drink 10 drinks in 10 minutes, you can get this $200. I'll buy the drinks."

All Irish men go silent, and one murmurs to himself and leave.

15 minutes later the Irish man comes back and goes up to the American and accepts his challenge.

Sure enough, the Irish man drank all 10 drinks in a whopping 8 minutes.

"Impressive" the American man says "but may I ask where you went before you took the challenge?"

"Went to the pub next door to see if I could do it first"

What do you get when you cross alcohol and literature?

Tequila Mockingbird

Thứ Tư, 6 tháng 9, 2017

My first post here

A 34 year-old man had undergone plastic sugery to make himself look like a 20 year old. He wanted to test and see if other people could guess his correct age. He went to a nearby shop and asked the shop keeper to guess what age he was.

The shop keeper replied, "About 20 years old".

The man was overjoyed that the surgery had made him look young and walked off happily.

He went to McDonald's to get lunch afterwards and feeling confident, he asked the worker at the counter to guess what age he was.

The worker replied, "About 20 years old".

The man smiled happily. The worker asked if the answer was correct.

The man replied, "I'm actually 34 years-old".

The worker was amazed as he did not look a day over 21. The man went to a bus stop afterwards to board the bus and go home. He saw an old lady waiting for the bus. He decided to test it out on her. He asked her to guess what age he was.

The old lady said, "I know an old technique to guess people's age. If you let me caresse your balls for 5 minutes I will be able to guess your age".

The man was confused but seeing as there was no one else at the bus stop he let her do it.

After 5 minutes the old lady pulls her hand out of the man's trousers and says, "You are 34 years-old".

Amazed the man asked how did she know.

The old lady replied, "I was behind you at McDonalds."

They're going to have to change the name of the U.S Virgin Islands

They're about to get fucked

An old Russian Communist is on his deathbed.

His friends are gathered around him all somber. The old man turns to one of them and says,

"Vasya, remember in 1921 you were almost executed? Well, you should know that I ratted you out to the Cheka. I hope you forgive me."

"Oh, no worries buddy." says Vasya.

The Communist then turns to another friend.

"Petya, remember being sentenced in 1937 to 25 years in the gulag? Well, it was me who went to the NKVD. Please forgive me."

"No hard feelings, my friend. You are forgiven" says Petya.

"Misha, I must confess to you that I had you sent to the penal battalion in 1942. I am terribly sorry about that day."

"Please my friend, we all forgive you. You may go in peace" says Misha.

"Thank you so much guys for being with me throughout all these years" says the old communist with a tear streaming down his face. "I don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for you. I never knew you loved me that much despite me being a stool pigeon."

His friends are visibly touched by his words. Finally, gathers his last strength and says.

"And in honor of our deep friendship I want you to fulfill my last wish. See that cactus plant on the windowsill? As soon as I die, I want you to take it and shove it up my ass."

Just as his friends were about to say something, the old communist took his last breath and died.

So Petya rushes to the window, takes the cactus plant off and together they shove it up their dead friend's butt. Suddenly, the friends hear a loud banging on the door followed by a gruff voice shouting:

"Open up, it's the police. We've received information that an old Bolshevik has been tortured to death."

I've lost 7lbs this week.

Or as my girlfriend calls it, "the baby".

A Man Gets A Construction Job

On a remote base deep in the forest.

The foreman walks him around and shows him the equipment.

After the tour the man asks his manager, "So hey boss...seeing as this is a long-term remote position...what do you guys do...you know for pleasure."

"Say no more. We're all mature men here. Follow me."

The foreman takes him to a large tree at the far corner of the base. "See that hole in the tree? Stick yer dick in it."

So the man does as he's told and experiences magic like he had never felt before. Weeks go by and everyday after work he goes back to the magic tree and receives an amazing pleasure.

However, one day he went to the tree and nothing happened. Shocked and disappointed, the man confronted his boss. "Sir when I went to the tree this evening I was very sad to discover that the magic has run out."

"Hmm...that's strange," says the foreman as he's scanning down his clipboard.

"Oh. Bingo. Yeah I found the problem. It's your turn in the tree."