About 3 days
In all honesty though, my thoughts and good wishes go out to the people of Florida,
Thứ Sáu, 8 tháng 9, 2017
A teacher is teaching her class of kindergarteners how to use grown-up expressions.
She points to little Sally and asks, "Sally, what did you do this weekend."
Sally tilted her head and said, "I went on a choo choo!"
"Marvelous, dear," said the teacher, "But next time, try 'I rode on a train.'"
She then turns to little Mark, a kindly, young lad and asks, "And how about you, Mark?"
Mark put a finger to his lips and thought real hard. "I went to the animal place and saw the stripy horsies."
"Simply exquisite," the teacher replied, "But say you saw zebras at the zoo next time, alright dear?"
After Mark nodded, the teacher turned to colorful and spirited Franky. "How about you, Frank?"
The little boy tilted his head after a second and said, "I read a...book!"
"Very good!" The teacher said, glowing with pride. "And what did you read?" She asked, beaming.
Frank thought long and hard for a second, then smiled real big, puffed up his chest and said in a great, big voice:
"Winnie the Shit!"
The $100 Million Plan to End Paralysis
The $100 Million Plan to End Paralysis
MIT research scientist Hugh Herr lost both legs below the knee after a 1982 winter climbing ordeal. In less than a year, he hacked his prosthetics to allow him to climb again, and he went on to become one of the world’s leading innovators in the field. His next big act? A $100 million project to end a slate of disabling conditions.
September 8, 2017 at 02:09AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2eKcmKy
Contemplating suicide
Back on January 9th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked . . . "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe . . . why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . . and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
I got fired from PC World today.
A guy came in the store and asked me what was the best thing for finding your ancestors.
“Probably a shovel” was not the right answer.
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