Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Sáu, 15 tháng 9, 2017

The race against heat

The race against heat How do you cool 7.5 billion people on a warming planet? September 14, 2017 at 10:32PM via Digg http://ift.tt/2f83t...

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson.

It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, you name it. Meanwhile, Grandpa is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy William, we won't be long . . . easy, boy." Another outburst and she hears the grandpa calmly say, "It's okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy". At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart and Grandpa says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll...

The other day I went to a Paraplegic Strip Club

That place was crawling with pussy....

I was sitting in a bar one day

and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.  So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?”  One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!”  So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?”  That’s about as far as I remember....

I just flew in from Chernobyl

And boy are my arms legs...

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon....

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around...

My wife said I'm lazy...

I almost told her how wrong she is....