How do you milk sheep?

Bring out a new iPhone and charge $1000 for it.

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I tried to submit a patent for a gold-plated buttplug

But it looks like apple beat me to it. Turns out they are already making overpriced toys for assholes

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A wheat farmer has a headache and all his crops disappear

Ahh Migraines!

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A mathematician couldn't remember if he had been with his girlfriend for 1 year or 2.

But he knew it was <3.

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Who is the greatest?

A BOOB, a VAGINA and an ASSHOLE are debating as to who is the greatest of them all

BOOB: I give milk to new born babies and I'm attractive to the opposite sex, that's why I'm the greatest

VAGINA: that's nothing. I give birth to babies and I accommodate the opposite sex, that's why I'm the greatest

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Why are you scrolling down? It's your turn to speak!

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Trump Shares Doctored Image of His Golf Ball Hitting Hillary Clinton

Trump Shares Doctored Image of His Golf Ball Hitting Hillary Clinton
In a series of eclectic Twitter posts, President Trump also appeared to refer to Kim Jong-Un, North Korea’s leader, as Rocket Man.

September 18, 2017 at 02:16AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2hb8G5f

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A girl I know said the last time she had sex, it was like the men's Olympic 100m finals

I laughed, "Over in 9.5 seconds?"

"No," she said,

"Eight black men and a gun."

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