Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
Chủ Nhật, 24 tháng 9, 2017
A homeless man enters a diner
He asks the waitress “What can a guy get for a dime?” “Not much, how about a glass of water?” says the waitress. “Sure, that will do.” The homeless man sits at the counter and starts drinking his water. He notices a cowboy sitting a couple seats down the counter with a big bowl of chili. The homeless man continues to drink his water. All the while the bowl remains uneaten. Finally the homeless man asks the cowboy. “Are you going to eat that chili?” “Nope, it’s yours if you want it” says the cowboy. The homeless man takes the bowl and begins eating. When he gets to the bottom of the bowl, he finds a dead mouse. The homeless man immediately throws up back into the bowl. The cowboy looks at him and says “Yep, same thing happened to me.”
A Kung Fu student in ancient China goes to meet his wise old master...
A Kung Fu student in ancient China goes to meet his wise old master. He says:
"Master, I keep trying but I cannot do the Kick of a Thousand Exploding Suns. Help me Master!"
His master gives him an anecdote.
"Have you seen the waves of the ocean crashing into the white cliffs while the sun sets, with no apparent purpose to them?"
"Yes Master"
"And have you seen the moon reflect upon the still surface of the lake, a mere reflection, and contemplate the meaning of it?"
"Yes Master"
"And have you seen the flocks of birds flying across the sky at sunset, and wonder about their purpose in life?"
"Yes Master"
"That's your problem! You keep looking at useless shit instead of practicing!"
An Italian funeral
A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.
The Jewish man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral, is it?"
"My wife's."
''What happened to her?"
"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"
“My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her and killed her also."
It was a very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood. Silence passed between the two men.
The Jewish man then asked "Can I borrow the dog?"
The Italian man replied, "Get in line."
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