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Thứ Tư, 27 tháng 9, 2017

Fox News' Shep Smith Slams Trump For Inaccurately Reframing The NFL Protests


Fox News' Shep Smith Slams Trump For Inaccurately Reframing The NFL Protests
Over the years, Shep Smith has been one of the few major Fox News anchors willing to buck the GOP, and he did so again on Monday.

September 27, 2017 at 04:21AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2y5T663

What's the difference between an iPhone X and one ounce of gold?

An ounce of gold will still be worth a grand next year.

When you say "poop" your mouth moves the same way your anus does when you poop.

The same is true for the phrase "explosive diarrhea."

Watson walks in on Sherlock having sex with a clearly underaged girl

Watson: "Bloody hell, Sherlock! What'd you think you're doing with that girl. She looks like she's in middle school!"

Sherlock: "Elementary, my dear Watson."

My neighbor's wife is better than mine!

I've always felt an irresistible attraction for the neighbour next door.

One day, when speaking to her husband, he said: "I need to have my apartment painted, but I work all day and I get tired. I tried to hire a professional painter but the guy asked me for the an arm and a leg ..."

At that moment, I just had a brilliant idea.

"Don't sweat it, neighbor! I'm on vacation and painting walls is my favorite hobby! It would be a pleasure to do this task."

The guy accepted the offer and was really happy.

I don't want to brag about my conversation skills, but I barely started to paint the apartment and I already had that woman in bed with me.

But, bad luck... We were just starting and I did not expect the husband to forget his documents and that, for that reason, he had to return home at that specific moment.

The woman, listening to her husband opening the door, runs to the bathroom, and the guy enters the room and finds me, naked, at the top of the ladder, giving a few strokes on the wall.

Screaming, he asked,

-"What the fuck is this? ... You started painting in my bedroom, and naked?"

-"Fuck you, I'm working for free, so I start wherever I want!"

-"But naked? ..."

-"You really wanted me to stain my new clothes with paint?"

-"And with a boner, you son of a bitch?"

-"And where am I going to hang the fucking bucket ?! ..."

Btw, english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes.

Sometimes i just sit & run my fingers thru my wife’s hair.

It's a nice way to tell her i love her.

And also that we're outta napkins.

My hot lesbian neighbours got me a Rolex for my birthday

It's nice, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch"