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Thứ Ba, 3 tháng 10, 2017

The meaning of life..

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed...... On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God agreed......

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again...... On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

I recently saw an advertisement for a double entendre contest

So I entered my friend

My roommate told me my clothes look gay.

I was like, don’t be a dick dude; they just came out of the closet

What do you call Hulk dressed up as Captain America?

Star-Spangled Banner

Why did the girl get the waitress job?

You could say she brings a lot to the table....

If the Stork brings good babies, and the Crow brings bad babies, what brings no babies?

The Swallow.

What We Know About The Horrific Mass Shooting In Las Vegas


What We Know About The Horrific Mass Shooting In Las Vegas
Late Sunday night, a lone gunman murdered scores of people on the Las Vegas strip in the deadliest mass shooting in ​modern American history.

October 3, 2017 at 05:47AM
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