A teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."

The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.

St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"

Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, "about 1,500." "That's right! You may enter."

St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them."

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Two priests were playing golf...

Father Bob hit his ball into the woods on his first swing, "Damn it! That totally missed!" he cursed.

"You shouldn't curse Father Bob!" said Father Michael "Or god might punish you!"

Father Bob apologized and they went on playing.

On his next swing, Father Bob hit his ball into the sand pit. "Damn it! That totally missed!" he cursed again.

Again, Father Michael warned, "Do not utter such words Father Bob, least god punishes you for it!"

Father Bob apologized again and they continued playing.

On his third swing, Father Bob hit his ball into the pond. "Damn it! That totally missed!" cursed Father Bob once again.

Before Father Michael could say anything, a ominous dark cloud suddenly gathered out of the blue sky and a vicious lightning came down and stroke Father Michael, killing him instantly.

Father Bob was completely stunned, before he could understand what was happening in front of him, he heard a thunderous deep voice coming from the sky - "Damn it! That totally missed!"

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You can tell Monopoly is an old game...

...because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

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A man using Apple maps walks into a bar

Or a pharmacy, or maybe a shoe store.

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A fish swimming in a river hits into a wall and yells

Dam.

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Did you hear about the two gay ghosts?

They gave each other the willies

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The problem of working in IT:

If everything works fine: "What the hell are we paying you for?"
If something breaks: "What the hell are we paying you for?"

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