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Thứ Ba, 10 tháng 10, 2017

My neighbor came at me really aggressively, asking if I knew anything about her underwear disappearing from her clothes line.

I can tell you I nearly shit her pants.

A husband and wife had been married for 60 years and had no secrets except for one

The woman kept in her closet a shoe box that 
she forbade her husband from ever opening. But when she was on her deathbed—and with her blessing—he opened the box and found a 
crocheted doll and $95,000 in cash.

“My mother told me that the secret to a happy marriage was to never 
argue,” she explained. “Instead, I should keep quiet and crochet a doll.”

Her husband was touched. Only one doll was in the box—that meant she’d been angry with him only once in 60 years. “But what about all this money?” he asked.

“Oh,” she said, “that’s the money 
I made from selling the dolls.”

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent

Why does leather armor make you better at sneaking?

Because it's made of hide.

Thứ Hai, 9 tháng 10, 2017

What's a Communist's favorite video game?

Don't Starve

A plateau

Is the highest form of flattery.

What's the only drink size they allow in North Korea?

A supreme liter