Me: You make a mean cup of coffee, sis
Her: It was good?
Me: I just said it was average.
Thứ Tư, 11 tháng 10, 2017
A police officer pulls over an elderly couple
He walks up to the driver's side window and asks the husband for his license and registration.
The wife, hard of hearing, asks "what?! What did he say to you?"
The husband replies "he wants my license!"
The officer asks him if he knew how fast he was going.
The wife yells "what?! What did he say to you?"
The husband yells back "he says I was speeding!"
As the officer looks at the license he notices they're from Ohio "you know, I used to live in Ohio. Worst place ever. I was seeing this woman there, and it was just miserable. She would never shut up, couldn't cook worth shit, constantly belittled me, and the sex was just awful."
The old lady once again yells "what?! What did he say to you?"
The husband yells back "he said you two used to date!"
My Muslim neighbor said the 11th of September was the anniversary of the happiest day of her life.
After seeing my shock, she quickly explained that she meant it was her wedding anniversary.
"I'm so sorry" I said, "I thought you meant the attack on the Twin Towers".
"That's ridiculous" she laughed, "I wasn't even born then."
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