Headache and Testicles

Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years. He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor. The Doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.' Joe was shocked and depressed.He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. The surgery...

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I only drink on days beginning with "T"

Tuesday, Thursday, today and tomorrow...

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An average boy gets home from school and shows his mother his report card.

An average boy gets home from school and shows his mother his report card. The mother opens it and sees all "B"s and "C"s and is disappointed with her son. She heard from a friend that the nearby church school does a great job at fixing people right up, so she decides to send her son there. After the first day at the church school, the boy, instead of putting off his math homework like he would do at the regular school, runs right past his mom, up the stairs, into his room and does his homework for several hours. The mother, slightly confused,...

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My brother was fired from a factory job for sticking his dick in the pipe cutter during his shifts.

They fired her at the same time, too....

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North Korea has a new war game

The North Korean state media just announced today that in the event of possible war all citizens are ordered to follow Donald Trump on Twitter, as there’s no way in hell he would risk losing 42 million followers...

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Four Catholic Men and a Catholic Woman Were Having Coffee in St. Peter's Square.

  The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'". The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'". The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'". The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'". Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a...

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When I was young my dad really emphasized how important it would be to use a condom if I ever had sex with a girl.

I asked him why. "Because, son," he replied, "any girl that would sleep with you would sleep with anyone."...

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