Two conspiracy theorists die and go to heaven.

Now that they have the chance to ask any question of God, one of them asks "Who was REALLY responsible for 9/11?". God responds "A group of Al-Qaeda terrorists led by Osama Bin Laden and Khalid Sheikh Mohammed."

The conspiracy theorist gulps and turns to his friend. "Fuck. This goes even higher up than we thought."

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I’m a scientist who’s researching bestiality between humans and dogs

I’ll be in my lab.

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I got kicked out of the hospital.

Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.

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That's a nice sham you've got there. It would be a shame if somebody...

added an e.

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My wife asked me to please quit singing Wonderwall in the shower

I said maybe.

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Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar

You can't tell me that's just a coincidence .

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Many things used to be illegal in North Korea.

Now they're unlegal.

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