If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, that's a different thing.

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How do you know if you have a high sperm count

She has to chew before she can swallow

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I bought my friend an elephant for his room.

He said "Thanks"

I said "Don't mention it"

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An army captain approaches a prostitute and asks her, "Would you enjoy my company for $100?"...

She looks at the handsome military officer and says, "Of course, I would be glad!"

Captain replies, "COMPANY! FORWARD!"

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What My Girlfriend Thought on the First Four Dates

1) Good shirt.
2) Nice. A second good shirt.
3) OK, the first shirt again.
4) He has two shirts.

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Astronomers Observe First-Ever 'Kilanova' — Here's What's Going On

Astronomers Observe First-Ever 'Kilanova' — Here's What's Going On
On Monday, astronomers announced a hugely exciting new discovery: For the first time ever, they've observed two neutron stars colliding — and creating gravitational waves.

October 16, 2017 at 10:06PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2yNyWOm

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How many optometrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One or two? One or two?

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