A young man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500.

So they did. Before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT." On the way to his office he regretted and decided it wasn't worth the price. So, he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following note: "Dear Madam, Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment I was under the impression that: 1) it...

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What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?

I'm a cashew...

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I passed a kid sat on the side of the road dressed in rags earlier.

I asked him, "Are you an orphan?" He replied, "Yes. What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."...

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In school, we had an assembly on bullying

The teacher spoke about a young gay boy, being bullied because of his sexuality. She spoke in length about his life, and the verbal abuse he suffers. She then asked a question, 'How do you think he takes it?'. Apparently, 'Up the arse!' wasn't a suitable answer....

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Where do horses go when they break a leg?

The Horse-pital! Just kidding, they get shot....

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My neighbors are listening to really good music

Whether they like it or not...

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My friend told me that he was having sex with a star.

I said "Are you fucking Sirius?"...

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