Been chatting with this 14 year old girl. Real sexy and flirty.Things are going great, but now she tells me she's an undercover cop

How fucking cool is that for someone Her age.

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What are pornstars paid?

Income.

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You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it into a jug of water. If it sinks: Girl Ant....

If it floats: Boy Ant

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After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?"

God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."

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A very beautiful women was depressed and wanted to kill herself

She goes to the overpass of a local highway to jump down 100 feet into a ravine. Before she could climb up the barrier, a disgusting and repulsive homeless man comes up and asks, "Hey what are you doing?!" The beautiful woman replied, "I am going to kill myself. This life isn't worth living anymore." The homeless man is very shocked at why she would do this and he decides he needs to help. The concerned hobo asks "well, ma'am, if you're going die anyways how about a quickie?" Disgusted, the woman lashes back "With you? You are gross. No way!" The seemingly unphased derelict shrugs his shoulders and replies "ok I'll see you at the bottom" and walks away.

That homeless man saved that woman's life that day.

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80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention.

The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world- wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance."

So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"

After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?"

The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?"

The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"

Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream... "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

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I signed up for a gym membership this year.

So far I've managed to lose £200.

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