My doctor said I have 2 weeks to live...

So I shot him. Problem solved, the judge gave me 20 years....

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I walked in the bedroom to find my wife dead in the bed the other day.

Looking at her lifeless there, I decided to have one last go. Right in the middle she opened her eyes and shouted BOO! Honestly, some people are fucking sick in the head....

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One day, a twelve year old boy walks into a brothel, dragging a dead frog behind him.

The Madam asks "Can I help you, son?" to which he replies, "Yes. I'd like a girl for the night." She says "I'm afraid you are too young for one of my girls." So he gets out his wallet and gives her $200. To which she says "She'll be waiting for you upstairs." The boy says "But she's got to have herpes." The Madam replies "But all my girls are clean!" So out comes the wallet again and he gives her another $200. The Madam says "OK, she'll be ready for you in about 10 minutes." So he goes up the stairs dragging the dead frog. About half an hour later...

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I couldn't accept that I was both gay and dyslexic

I was in Daniel...

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iPhone X Reviews

iPhone X Reviews Is the iPhone X worth the $1000+ you'll have to shell out to get your hands on one? Here's what the reviews say. October 31, 2017 at 08:07PM via Digg http://ift.tt/2zm2K...

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Hate when people ask me where I see my self in 3 years time.

I dont have 2020 vision...

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What’s the worst thing about locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger....

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