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Thứ Tư, 15 tháng 11, 2017

My 1st grader got home from school and asked me

"Dad, is 'hell' a bad word?"

And I told him, "Yes, that's a very bad word. You shouldn't even know about that word. Don't be saying that word, ok?"

My son agreed to not say it, but then asked, "But hello isn't a bad word, right?"

So I had to explain to him that "hell" and and "hello" were two different words with completely different meanings.

A few days later I got a call from his teacher saying I needed to have a conversation with my son concerning his language. She said my son won't stop saying "shitto"

Edit: This is actually a true story that my co-worker told me about her friend's son!

The funniest joke I've heard happen organically.

I was sat in front of a couple I didn't know on the bus who were arguing. The girl was asking why the guy never made more of an effort romantically, but he's saying that it doesn't come naturally to him to make these big gestures. She keeps angrily saying he needs to be more spontaneous.

He says "I'm a guy, I can't just turn it on like a tap."

She says "Force it!"

He says "Fine, I can't just turn it on like a faucet".

Unsurprisingly, this didn't help. Neither did it help that the guy in front of them cracked up and turned around for a high five.

The Cause and Consequences of the Retail Apocalypse


The Cause and Consequences of the Retail Apocalypse
Private equity firms overburdened businesses with debt, and now workers are paying the price. Will policymakers do anything about it?

November 14, 2017 at 10:53PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2zK1upK

So the CEO of EA walks into a bar..

"I'll have a beer" he says, exasperated from the recent PR firestorm.

"That'll be $1" answers the barman.

"Woah" replies the CEO, "That's great value!"

"Sure is." the barman replies. "Would you like a glass with that?"

Comedian Jeff Dunham has been accused of sexual assault

after allegations from his coworkers saying that he's been fisting them for decades.

All we need now is for someone to come forward and say EA has been sexually harassing them

Actually, that applies to all of us. They've been fucking us for years.