Real Dog Jealously Watches Its Owner Pet A Fake Dog, Finally Snaps

Real Dog Jealously Watches Its Owner Pet A Fake Dog, Finally Snaps
"I gave you all my love, every day, and this is how you repay me?"

November 16, 2017 at 12:50AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2zDxbDs

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Daddy, what are those two spiders doing," she asked?

Daddy, what are those two spiders doing," she asked? "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top," she asked? "A Daddy Longlegs," her father answered. "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs," the little girl asked? As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs. The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted her foot and stomped them flat. "Well," she said, "that may be OK in California, but we're not having any of that crap here in Texas."

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A naked woman robbed a bank..

No one could remember her face.

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What do Hitler and EA have in common?

You are missing the Punchline Pack. Please purchase the Reddit Season Pass to reveal missing content

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A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce

and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"

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Told my girlfriend that my mom is deaf so speak very loud and very slow...

...Told my mom that my girlfriend is retarded.

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I went to an Art Gallery, it was $60 to enter and $80 to look at each picture.

It was called Electronic Arts.

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