I took my mother in law out today

I love being a sniper...

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If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks...

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined...

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Ten Long Years of Trying to Make Armie Hammer Happen

Ten Long Years of Trying to Make Armie Hammer Happen How many second chances does a handsome white male star get? November 27, 2017 at 12:46AM via Digg http://ift.tt/2zsKZ...

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Imagine the guy who invented maple syrup...

Hey this tree tastes way better than the last 10 trees I sucked!...

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Grandpa & grandson

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for candy, cookies, all sorts of things. The grandpa is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy boy." The boy has another outburst and she hears the grandpa calmly say : "It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, son." At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of the shopping cart. Grandpa says again in a controlled voice, "William,...

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Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward

That's just how I roll...

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The Catholic Church absolutely agrees on homosexuals getting married...

... As long as a gay marries a lesbian....

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