Looks like we've got a Tutankhamen.
Thứ Sáu, 1 tháng 12, 2017
I was offered sex...
In Thailand, I was offered sex with a 21 years old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.
One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:
"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"
The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."
"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"
So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it. But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.
The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :
"Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."
It Started as a Tax Cut. Now It Could Change American Life.
It Started as a Tax Cut. Now It Could Change American Life.
By 2027, people making $40,000 to $50,000 would pay a combined $5.3 billion more in taxes, while the group earning $1 million or more would get a $5.8 billion cut
November 30, 2017 at 08:29PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2irvanp
Late one night, an alien spacecraft landed near a deserted gas station.
After a bit, one of the aliens came down the ramp, looked around, and walked over to one of the gas pumps, where he demanded, "Earthling! Take me to your leader!"
The gas pump, of course, did not reply. The alien became agitated and again demanded, "Take me to your leader!" The gas pump remained silent.
Frustrated, the alien went back to the spacecraft where he was confronted by the captain who wanted a report.
"I contacted an earthling - but he would not cooperate."
"Hmmm. I will deal with this earthling myself," said the captain.
"Yes sir. Be careful sir, I have a feeling there could be trouble."
The captain left the ship and approached the gas pump. "Earthling, you will cooperate. Take me to your leader."
The gas pump remained unresponsive.
"Very well." The captain drew his blaster. "If you do not respond by the count of three, I shall be forced to fire on you......One. Two. Three!" ZZZZZT!
WHAM! The gas pump exploded, knocking the alien ass over tea kettle. The captain jumped up and got back to the ship as fast as his whatever's would propel him.
"Quickly! Make ready to depart!" shouted the captain.
"Yes sir. What happened sir?"
"I fired on the earthling and it responded very forcefully," replied the captain.
"Sorry sir, I was afraid that might happen."
"How did you know that there would be trouble?" the captain asked.
"Well sir, I assumed that anyone who can take his dick, wrap it around himself three times and stick it in his ear was probably going to be one mean bastard."
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