A non-prophet
Thứ Sáu, 1 tháng 12, 2017
Thứ Năm, 30 tháng 11, 2017
God notices heaven is getting a bit crowded
So he sits down with St Peter and says “Look, too many people are getting in. As of tomorrow at 12pm, no one is getting in unless they’ve had a really bad day”
Peter nods, and the next day he sits down at the pearly gates when a man arrives
“Hi sir, welcome to heaven, hey new rules... you’re not allowed in unless you’ve had like a really bad day”
The man doesn’t pause before screaming: “Bad day? A bad day! Let me tell you about my day. I have suspected my wife of cheating on me for a year now and I decided to come home at lunch and catch her in the act. So I go up to my apartment on the 10th floor and I nearly bust straight in. Anyway she’s lying on the couch, naked and screaming at me! I can’t find the guy anywhere, until I go outside on the balcony and there’s this guy, naked, holding on to the balcony floor. And he’s screaming at me. Well I go into this rage! I stomp on his hands and he falls the ten storeys. But at the bottom these branches break his fall, and he starts to get up! He’s alive! So I grab the nearest thing, our fridge, and I push it over the edge right at him. I don’t know what happened cause I had a heart attack while doing it!”
Peter nods “wow yeah that is rough. In ya come”. The next guy in line walks up, naked
“Hey so yeah, new rules, you have to have had a bad day to get in”
“Well let me tell ya. I was home sick from work and I just got out of the shower and walked out onto my balcony to get some fresh air. A gust of wind whipped my towel off and I reached out to grab it... but I ended up falling over the edge! Luckily I managed to turn and grab onto this balcony when this god damn mad man comes running out and starts stamping on my fingers! So I fall ten storeys, but I’m saved! All these branches in these trees at the bottom slowly break my fall. I was just getting my bearings when I look up and a fridge is flying at my face”
Peter nods... perplexed... “wow. Yeah. Okay. That sounds rough, in ya go... next”
This other guy walks up, and Peter says “same as the last two, you’ve had to have had a bad day to get in”
The guy looks at him and goes “Okay. So imagine this. You’re naked inside a fridge”
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