I told my new girlfriend that my mother was very hard of hearing and that she should speak loud and slow. I told my mother that my girlfriend was mentally challenged and to please be polite.
I'm looking forward to Christmas dinner.
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Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)
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I told my new girlfriend that my mother was very hard of hearing and that she should speak loud and slow. I told my mother that my girlfriend was mentally challenged and to please be polite.
I'm looking forward to Christmas dinner.
The rule, as she explained it, was that in order to determine if a particular comment was appropriate to say to a woman, first ask yourself, 'Would I be comfortable saying this to Dwayne Johnson?' If not, don't say it.
I thought this sounded like a good rule. So I told her:
"Your chest is fucking epic."
and a gnat lands on its back. The fly says, "is there a gnat on my back?" The gnat says, "gnat at all." The fly says, "that's the worst pun I've ever heard." The gnat goes, "what do you expect, I just made it up on the fly!"
Two women are talking:
“How was the sex last night?” one asks.
“A catastrophe! My husband came from work, had dinner in 03 minutes, after we make 04 minutes sex, he was deep sleep 02 minutes after! That fucker! And yours, How was it? “
”My, was AMAZING! My husband took me out for a nice restaurant, after this we came back to home on a nice 01hour walk. When we got home, after 01 hour of foreplays in candle lights, we made 01hour sex and after this we speak for more one hour!”
Two man are talking in work:
“So How was the sex yesterday?”
“Man, was one of the best days of my married life! When I got home, dinner was in the table, after eat, my wife and me had a quickie, and then I slept as a rock! And your?”
“A fucking disaster! When I got home, we are out of power. So I had to take my wife out for dinner; the food was so expensive that I got no money left for taxi, so we had to walk 01 hour home. When we got home, power was out yet, so I had to light some candles. I was so fucking stress that I needed 1hour to make my fellow stand up, and another hour to finish the business. I was so anger that I couldn’t sleep, and had to deal with an infinite talk, fuck that night man!”