Why are redneck murders so hard to solve?

Because all the DNA matches and there's no dental records.

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My wife and I were happy for 20 years

And then we met.

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A New Optical Illusion Was Just Discovered, And It's Breaking Our Brains

A New Optical Illusion Was Just Discovered, And It's Breaking Our Brains
Researcher Kohske Takahashi calls it the "curvature blindness illusion" and it's very trippy.

December 9, 2017 at 03:07AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2iGBrYz

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Joke from my daughter

Her: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Me: Why?

Her: To get to the ugly guy's house.

Me:???

Her: Knock knock

Me: Who's there?

Her: It's the chicken!

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It was so cold in D.C. today...

that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

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My wife left me because I'm too insecure.

No -- wait, she's back. She just went to make a cup of tea.

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A manager has two great employees...

A manager has two great employees, Jack and Jill. Due to budget constraints, he knows he has to fire one of them. He decides to meet with each employee, be upfront with them, and then make his sad decision. Both of them are outside of his office, and he asks Jill to step inside. Less than 15 seconds later, Jill storms out of there and slams the door behind her.

Jack walks in and says "I guess you decided to let her go?"

Boss man has a bewildered look on his face and says "I never even got the chance to! All I said was 'I'm trying to decide whether to lay you or Jack off.'"

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