How do you draw the most realistic fish?

It must be drawn to scale....

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My instructor asked me, "Can you read that car's license plate from here?"

I answered, "YES!! NOW COULD YOU PLEASE OPEN THE PARACHUTE NOW!!!???"...

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Two introverts walk into a room...

One leaves...

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Sometimes I tell dad jokes,

Sometimes he laughs...

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Gorilla Removal

" A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers". He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. "What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks. "I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat. When the gorilla...

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You'd think a snail would be faster without it's shell,

But it's actually more sluggish......

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How can you tell if your girlfriend is getting too fat?

If she fits in your wife's clothes....

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