Are you a cigarette?

Because I want to put your butt in my mouth.

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Her Him

Her: I'm Susan, but you can call me Sue. 

Him: I'm Dave, but everyone calls me Dick

Her: Really? How do you get Dick from Dave?

Him: You ask nicely.

I heard this today!

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How many introverts does it take to change a light bulb?

Does it have to be a group activity?

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Two scientists walk into a bar.

"I'll have H2O," says the 1st.

"I'll have H2O, too," says the 2nd.

Bartender gives them water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical

function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.

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Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his Penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?

...it was Luke warm.

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This Video Of A Polar Bear Starving To Death Is Hard To Watch

This Video Of A Polar Bear Starving To Death Is Hard To Watch
It's likely that at the time this was filmed, the polar bear only had a few hours to live.

December 10, 2017 at 03:40AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2iMiUKu

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Please stop hating on Trump, he saved my friend's life!

Earlier last year my friend had been in a coma for years. The doctors tried everything and told us to pray for a miracle.

And then one day his nurse came and switched the TV to Trump's campaign, he woke up and turned it off.

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